Life is more difficult than…
…I thought it would be. I swear, for the life of me, I can’t get to work on time lately. I’m not sure what’s up. Either I’m unlucky and end up being half an hour to an hour late because of some event, or 5-15 minutes late because I left the house a little later.
I can’t get over my crap. I always feel awkward and like the odd girl out whenever I hang out with my friends or anyone. I just feel like the awkward insecure girl who always has issues and is no fun. I think part of this is because I don’t have like a solid group of friends. I don’t even know what I’m really talking about. I guess I need to stop comparing myself to other people and what I see on Facebook etc. When I was “dating”, one of my favorite things about my ex was his group of friends. They were all so close and always really accepting and welcoming of me. I loved how they would all just hang out at someone’s house and have barbecues and just chill or they’d have video game parties. I want a group of friends like that. I guess I also want more friends. I always feel like the unpopular girl because I just don’t know how to make friends. I don’t mean to make it seem like “Oh my God, I don’t have friends so I’m a loser“. It’s just a theme I’ve noticed. I need to get my ish together. I keep waiting for a breakthrough or something like an Eat, Pray, Love moment or some kind of revelation to wake me up and bring me back to myself. It just doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen.
but it flew away from her reach
so she ran away in her sleep and
dreamed of paradise
every time she closed her eyes